come and gone.

it's funny how fast people can walk in and out of your life. it's funny how fast time changes things. and it's funny how some people cannot take the hint with things or are just too oversensitive about things.

long weekend = zero work.

friday night = jailbreak ipod and then up all night playing games and thinking. thinking about change and certain people. thinking about how hard it is to let go.

saturday = city. i went to watch step up 3D. went to states in the morning. sometimes it's easier to make the effort to avoid things, fake a smile and pretend everything is okay. xD we played pool, had lunch, movie and then more time wasted on ipod. LOL dynamics between people do become interesting, and it gets to a point at times where it's like '. . . .'



sunday = khalil&fiona. morning i had derrick ha. then arvo went to city for more pool...again. dinnered and then went to khalil fong concert. one song sung by fiona really hit me. her mindset when writing the song i felt reflected how i feel at times. and she sung it dearly, which i enjoyed.

monday = no school - josh's bday. karaoke. dinner. (Y) enough said.

so anyhow. change. it happens all the time. and people around you change. and the feelings you have for people change too. anger, hate frustration, joy, comfort, safety, warmth etc. and whether or not you want it to be, half the time these feelings aren't mutual. you hate someone, they don't get the hint. you want someone there, they don't get the hint. etc LOL this probs makes no sense, but the things i'm trying to get out i feel, are summed up by the song above, change by miwa, and a change is coming by steph mcintosh.

also...who's ever dreamt of the dead? i seem to always dream of my grandpa this time of year. around his bday. without consciously thinking about it either. he was really close with ivan, and i enjoyed his company when he was around. time flies when thinking about it. and i guess it sometimes gets really upsetting when thinking about such memories, what has happened, what could have happened, and all the things and possibilities of different scenarios just playing around in your head. you get used to someone, and then realise they're not there for you anymore. not there to share your jokes. not there to spoil you. and just not there in general. i was never close to grandparents on my mum's side, but i am really close with the ones on my dad's side. the dream i had really showed reflected i guess the absence that is there now. something that won't be there anymore. something that cannot be replaced. it's weird dreaming of such dreams, but at the same time, they just make you think about the people you have in your life.