Saturday, October 30, 2010

reminiscent past.

When confronted with essences of the past, we often wonder how to approach it: fight or flight.

Emotions come flooding in whether it be due to a joyous reminiscent or fear from guilt of something shameful. How we react often depends on what kind of past is presented in front of us, and often, what you never anticipated in the past, may become the one reality that exists in the future because of such happenings.

When the past is 'haunting' us, shock, fear, and stress is often incited. Why does this occur? Most people often feel such emotions if they have something to hide, something they don't want others knowing and something that they are shamed of. These are the memories that we all wish to forget, the memories that we never wanted to see again. Whilst we do live in a world full of lies, twisted webs, and deception, often many of us are to oblivious to notice the smalls facets and trail that we leave behind for people to uncover such discoveries. Nothing can be hidden forever, and the truth will always come out one way or another. Hence, if you've got nothing to hide, and a clean conscience, then you have nothing to worry about.

In contrary, when something positive from the past is relived in the present, tears of joy can come rushing through, excitement and exhilaration, and satisfaction can all be felt. These are the memories that we wanted to hold onto forever, the memories that we did not want to say goodbye to, and the memories that we would trade anything for. In such a dog eat dog society, it is these memories which provide hope for people. They give people the strength to live day to day. But as the theme of this blog is the past, they are only memories, and one must move forward with their lives. They cannot be living in memories, or living in fear of them either.
In saying that, it is often easier said than done, to let go of the past and live for the future. To do so, we must appreciate everything around us, and the people who love and care for us.

So how do we let go and just forget about it all?
It isn't easy, and there is no definite answer. Variations exist for different people, but today, when I was confronted with the past, and all aspects which lead to certain, I felt nothing. Nothing as in a weight had been lifted. And in all honesty, it was quite hilarious.

Interrelationships amongst people often become very complicated and twisted when you add a whole bunch of people and a whole bunch of emotion. From friends, to strangers,t o best of friends, to couples and so on. The change in dynamics is quite amusing to look back on in retrospect.
Anyhow, the feeling of nothing. That emptiness and lack of emotion is one of the many indicators of letting go. No longer do you hold onto the resentment of the past. No longer are you enraged at the lack of appreciation. No longer are you disappointed of standards falling short. Because you know, it is expected of such people. Feeling nothing is actually quite reassuring in a way as no longer do you feel an attachment. Whilst it is a shame, detaching yourself from the past, and the things that once consumed, is one of the most uplifting things to happen.

So whilst the past can play influential roles in one's future, they are things that have already happened. Things that we cannot control. When something does come up, and we are confronted with such issues, tackle them head of, forget about them, and move on. Cherish the ones you love, and soldier through the darker ones. Better yet, don't do anything that you would regret.
I will break these chains that bind me,
Happiness will find me,
Leave the past behind me,
Today my life begins.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Caring for the ones you love. Caring for those around you. Caring for your friends. We all care about someone, but to what extent should we care to?

When you care and ask questions, some say you're annoying. When you care and try to be there, some say you're fake. When you care and nothing happens, it feels like you're not appreciated. So why is it, at times, not only does caring get you nowhere, but you also get hurt in the process.

So how do we care? To the ones we love, we care by asking questions, by talking to them, by being there, by listening, by being the shoulder to cry on, and just by doing what we can to see them smile and be happy. It really isn't that hard to care for someone. What is hard, is caring for someone, without them acknowledging it. Why can't people be more appreciative.

We don't ask many questions to be annoying. We just want to see how your day is. We don't constantly talk to you to be in your face. We just want someone close to share stories with. We don't. And at times, we don't ignore you because we don't care. We just want to give you space.

Caring is something that is unconditional. There is not equivalent exchange for it. We care, because we want to, because we love them. It is often frustrating when people expect there to be a hidden agenda when we care. It is just as frustrating when they think that we expect something in return. There isn't anything in return people expect from the ones they care about, there is no expectation to.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

end of an era.

so i know that i said i'd be on temporary hiatus until after exams, but here's one i wanted to blog about.

so my high school days are finally over. now there's only exams left, and then this chapter of my life will be well and truly done.

so six years is quite a long time, but as we look back to reflect upon it, words just cannot explain how fast time has flown by, and words just simply cannot explain the roller coaster of emotions felt as these final days came to a close.

over six years, friendships have been made, friendships have been broken. many successes have been achieved, whilst many failures have also come and gone. six years is a long time and many things have happened. but what is sad now is some of your friends, you will most likely never keep in touch with again. as each individuals life and pathway diverges from one another, there really isn't an opportunity for that close bond and relationship ever again. whilst technology does allow us to keep in touch, it just isn't the same. driving past the school today was also pretty sad. whilst exams are still happening there, the fact that there are no more classes just really hits you and the fact that it is all actually over.

so whilst i can talk a lot more about what actually happened i cbs.

although many people at times wish they could go back and experience it all over again, whilst also wishing for it to be over already etc. i don't. it is nice to go back and relive it all, and it is a pain to go through the stress and all of that. i wouldn't want to go through it all again, just because of the fact that this is just one chapter of the life i have ahead of me. i do appreciate it and love all the people and experiences i've had. but it just wouldn't be as unique and special if i were to experience it again. it's over now, and just holding onto such memories and people suffices.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


on temporary hiatus til the flip side of exams or until procrastination is at its best.