multiple facades.

when immersed in different environments, people often show many sides of them, many different colors, and numerous facets to their personality that you would never expect.

its been stressful times recently with midyears around the corner. people say that after midyears, they're free. i wish it were the same for me. uni bio exam..which i have to LEARN for as well as 3 sacs..all within 2 days. *sigh

this year, was a year where i wanted to focus, and concentrate, and hope that things would just go my way. however, it's been the total opposite. things that could go wrong seem to go wrong, people are affecting me and concentration, focus and effort just aren't up to scratch. just talking with dad today, he was like you shouldn't let anyone affect you this year. and that the only reason that things would get to you, is if you care about it and can be bothered to be affected by it.

i for one am guilty of caring about things too much? when do you draw the line to stop caring so that you don't get hurt and lose focus? some things are hard to differentiate though when it comes to letting go. are they worth the care and the distractions that come with it, or is the care just a total waste? are you willing to let go of what you care about just to free yourself from the baggage, or hang on to everything and all the crap comes with it because you care so much? i hate that feeling of not being able to decide.

anyhow, as well as the recent stress i guess i have been learning more and more about people around me. the surprises, the ups the downs, the letdowns and disappointments, and the feeling knowing that they care. some people have shown sides i'd never expect to see. i guess the higher the expectations, the bigger the disappointment and let downs, especially those who are close around us. when someone promises you they'd be there, and you turn to them, you do not expect a brick wall in return. thats just mean. on top of that breaking promises is quite GG! @.@ then theres those that are totally oblivious to everything you do and when you finally have the strength to voice this issue, they totally brush it off and say that you're in the wrong? how is that fair? but then there are those who are there for you when you don't expect them to be. those who try to make your day even though they are a bit in your face at times.

when so many people change around you? these changes...is it them that's actually changing? or are you just changing so much yourself? being delved into things too deep will just make you blind to what's really going on. =S people are just complicated webs of mess that really screw with your mind. blehhhhh

on lighter notes...formal theres finally less stress for that now. suits done, tables done, limo hired...just small dilemmas left. mostly content. i guess you can't always have it you're way...but it's so hard to try and please everyone.

and chemm..epic gay. i hate it. not looking forward to midyears.

happy reading rayy! LOL