and the whole thing turns out wrong...
because you had a bad day
you're taking one down
you sing a sad song just to turn it around
everyone has a bad day every once in a while. but for me and recent times, i feel like its a never ending cycle. the feeling i get, begins with rage, but as the amount of bad luck comes my way, i just laugh. there isn't actually anything i can do about it.
how to i keep deceiving myself from the depreciation and lies?
as time goes on, people change. those who you would once pretty much die for, end up hurting you the most, and those you trusted with your own life, end up blatantly lying to you and betray that trust you once worked so hard to build. what do you do when you find out though? do you pretend that you don't know that it's happening and go on deceiving yourself? or do you actually do something about it and cut ties with them?
i for one am a fool. nice guys get nowhere in life; they only get trampled on. personally, i always live on deceiving myself about the depreciation. it's too hard to just cut ties. even though what you once had, has diminished, i guess there is that part of you, that still isn't willing to let go, and that you would hang on to anything that you can for it to stay the same, when in actual fact, sometimes even the little things don't count anymore. those that lie, and act as if there is nothing wrong, clearly don't see the worth and value of what they are actually throwing away.
as well as messed up relationships, just like in 'Just My Luck', i'm SOL - shit out of luck. bad things just keep piling up; whether it be with people, work load, stress, rest, or just small things that can really piss you off if they accumulate. that massive week i had recently with the worst luck, just ended up worse and worse. by the end of the week, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. there was no balance. whilst my bad luck seemed to give certain people positive outcomes, they seem to not show any gratitude whatsoever, and hence brings us back to the deception to yourself. not only do they dismiss it, when confronted about it, they say that they do not show any appreciation because it would cause more damage than harm and that it wasn't worth it. what sort of logic is that?!??!?!?!
these past few days = very SOL. vip night at mc saw the bag i've been wanting badly sold out, whilst at home my computer caught some virus meaning i was not able to use it for two days. i had a uni assignment due today, that i was up late doing last night and finishing off during lunches at school and just before bio today. school computers are slow as, and the rush was not worth it. hopefully the mark would be, but knowing my luck, i'm doubtful. along with the computer debacle, i also saw how selfish my family could get, something that was really frustrating.
add on very little rest, and very little care from the people you want to take notice, you get someone who is very cranky. as i was rushing my assignment, i was then late to bio. i ran out the door, and just missed my bus. get on the next bus, with the smallest connection time for my next bus, i was still hopeful i would make it on time. but OMFG! my bus was full of old people. took so long to get on and off the bus, ended up missing connecting bus. i had to wait for the next one. and the next one, stopped at every FUCKING red light possible. on the way home, i waited 30 minutes in the cold for a bus that never showed up. so i decided to go sit down, as i sat down, i saw the bus drive past me. WTF is this! seriosuly...SOL!
o..and year12 yumpers are fkd apparently. all the letterings are screwd and need to be redone. so finally i have some stress relieved with the assignment done. but i just got reminded that midyears are close. and i haven't done any preparation yet. so scared. not to mention all the work im behind in.
putting in effort to something that isn't worth it, or just trying too hard, as well as the bad luck, stress and restlessness can really confuse your state of mind, and you just end up forgetting to care about yourself. sometimes i just wished, that i could care more about myself, and also for those around me to actually notice and do something about it. *sigh
bad luck, bl - what can you do about it.
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