end of the road.

I've been travelin'
Get the dust right off the windshield
No one gets the road map to their life
'Cause life is so subjective
I'll take my pain and I wanna protect it
Never blinds me always reminds me
There's so much more to see
At the end of the road

wow. with midyears fast approaching and everything else coming at a whirlwind there really is very little time left for our last yr in high school.

had a chemistry sac today. FML! chemistry and i, are just like oil and water - we dont mix. but its okay. all i need in it is a 30 at least. hopefully i can achieve something higher...high than physics? otherwise gggg if only med didnt need it.

so everyone seems to been frantically panicking about midyears. although i seem to be, im doin very little about it - which is bad. midyears are a bitch this year. luckily i only have the one chemistry exam, but i also have a uni bio exam the week after, which i haven't learnt anything on yet at the moment + 2 assignments for it due in the coming week. no to mention, that same week i also have 3 sacs. FML i guess the one night to just chill that week would be the formal. after epic gayness with it all, i dont actually know what to expect from it, and there are still certain things that make me hesitant. but a week or two after that...DESSERT DAY!!!! yayys ^^

the fact that we have midyears soon, just shows me how quickly the year has gone so far. not to mention, uni courses have been on my mind lately. aside from med, i don't actual know what i want to do. im worried and doubtful at my chances of getting in, but i guess i actually want it quite badly. the UMAT is soon and still i haven't done any preparation for that either. aside from med, i guess biomedicine is always an option. but then i also thought about the risk of not getting into it postgrad. bioengineering is also something to consider? i guess theres a list of things i could do, but am not sure if its my cup of to so to speak. design has also been something i enjoy, but because i don't have a folio, it really limits my choices in uni. so here's a list of things im remotely interested in (they're kinda all over the place):

bachelor of medicine/bachelor of surgery
bachelor of architectural design/masters of architecture
bachelor of science/bachelor of teaching (secondary)
bachelor of business (marketing)/bachelor of business (management)
bachelor of physiotherapy (with honours)
bachelor of nutrition and dietetics
bachelor of pharmacy/bachelor of commerce
bachelor of urban design and planning
bachelor of oral health

i really have no clue what to do. my ultimate dream is to become a pediatrician, but im worried about my UMAT - tbh i think im gonna do very badly in it. my interior design dream kinda fails now, but im surprised that architecture doesnt require a folio. teaching would be okay, and although im not a fan of business, marketing and management are okay if i consider event planning.

VTAC applications start august and end sept. so there isnt really much time left. and i am somewhat scared at what the future holds. its all a mess at the moment.

just to make the year seem more real, and fast paced. we got our second lot of year12 jumpers today. rugby tops and hoodies now. i feel so old now. LOL and fat..cuz of how big they are. x]




im actually nervous and quite freaked out about how its all coming to an end quickly. 13 years of schooling is ending soon and our futures are kinda on the line with all these sacs and mid years. not to mention the people who you may or may not keep in touch with afterwards, whether you want to or not. or whether you are willing to go interstate to pursue you dream, and leave everything behind.

obviously there are those who you see yourself with ages down the line, but you never know. past experiences have taught me to not take anything for granted. even tho certain people still dont seem to appreciate these things.

and to lilbee:

dont be sad even if it seems like the whole world is against you. there are loved ones and ones who you trust and care dearly for who are always there for you. although there are ones who make you cry or upset, and do not seem to appreciate the effort, love and care you put into the relationship, sometimes it just really isn't worth it. you give them chances, but they always end up disappointing you. just ignore those people. cherish those who actually care. there will always be something good to look forward to, no matter how dim your life may be at the moment. just laugh about it. i've learnt to. as sometimes all the crap that happens is just totally out of your control. so laugh. all this comes from recent experience too. and i know cupcakes will always cheer you up :).

bigbee.