what if..

My head's full of thoughts

Thoughts of you
And I'm distracted so easy
Thinking what to do
So unsure, so unfamiliar
Am I wrong to think that something could happen

Many of us often spend a lot of time thinking, too much time thinking. Whether it'd be thinking about a person, or an issue, a lot of us often lie wide awake at night, thinking about all the possibilities, thinking about all the "what ifs", and thinking about the decisions and choices we have made that have lead to such a result.

It's often hard to deal with reality, and the hurdles that it makes you jump over. This often leads to thinking, something which many may lack, when making such decisions in the first place. You wonder what would have happened if things were different. You wonder what would have happened if you never said those words. You wonder what would have happened if you actually put that extra bit of effort in. Such minuscule things, causing such big ripples. But what can we actually do about all of this?

What difference can we actually make when thinking about such things. Can we really change what has happened? Or do we think about such things, because they are imperfect? Because they are something we regret, something we want to take back, something that we could have changed, something we wished was better. Whilst all these thoughts may fill your head it is often hard to actually rid yourself of them. The processes made, and all the possibilities are thought upon one after another, and at times, just like a runaway train, it cannot be stopped. You think to yourself, what if?

What if I lead the way
What if I make mistakes (will you be there?)
What if I change the world
What if I take the blame (will you be there?)

So what if this happened? And what if that happened? What if this didn't happen? Would they have actually changed what has happened? All these thoughts are often our regrets and us thinking about the things that we have done, the things that we haven't done, the things that were left unsaid and the things that were said and taken too far and how'd they might have changed what has happened. Whether it be the cause of a fight, the loss of a loved one, or just a simple mistake.

Many of us often have these regrets and mistakes made to our lives, which we wish we could untangle and undo. For some, the damage may be irreversible, and the only peace of mind, which in turn, may be what hurts the most, may be the impossible idea of things just getting better, returning to normal. For others, all these what ifs may actually cause the individual to reflect, think and change. They learn from it, and attempt to fix things. For these people, the second chances they are offered are rare and something that should be held on to.

So why can't it be as easy as wishing for it to all go away, and for things just to be the way they were, the way we wanted them to be, perfect - reliving that moment in time when everything was at its highest and peaking. Why do we all have to face reality, and live with such decisions that were made, whilst telling ourselves, and immersing ourselves in thoughts of other various possible outcomes which may have resulted differently. In the end, we just all wish for that second chance, that chance to change what has been done, to right such wrongs and regrets we live with.

All these thoughts about someone, something can consume one if not controlled. All the what ifs, and all the possibilities that we think about, are in the hope that things could be better. At times, they are our excuses, whilst at times they are the reality in which we would all like to live in. Most of the time however, what has occurred may actually be the best result, with minimized repercussions, and which changes who we are for the better.