没有你的最后一天.

ten months six days - after all of the efforts and times that i tried, maybe i was in way too deep.

And I can’t STAND the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t STAND the pain

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

sometimes i just feel like disappearing and letting people do whatever pleases themselves.

apologies to those who care, and apologies for those who i seem to care to much for and just "suffocate" them as they put it.

people talk about crying in the rain so that nobody notices. showers are exactly the same, and your alone in them too. just had a 30 minute shower...sigh. it blocks your nose and makes it hard to breathe >_< and altough some people say letting it all out helps sometimes, tonight it didnt.

lying, deceit, manipulation, interrogation, suspicion, pain and suffering, isolation, sadness - so over all of this.

i remember my last 5 birthdays ending up in tears thinking year after year it would be different and wishing that it would be better....i was expecting so much for my 18th, and now, i just feel like ima feel a sense of deja vu.